My wife and I welcomed our daughter into the world on 17 August. I’ve since learned a few things:
- Watching TV shows in 10-minute stints is difficult. What is a movie?
- Reheated coffee is not for me ☕️
- All old people think it’s OK to touch my kid. Hands off, Margaret
- I’m actually sleeping more (exhaustion really helps combat that pesky insomnia)
- I take way more photos than I ever thought I would 📷
- Alarm clock, meet bin
- Nappies. Lots of Nappies.
- Please stop making that noise
- Oh god please make some sort of noise 😱
- Single parents are super-human. Twins? No thanks.
- 2 weeks statutory paternity leave is a disgrace (I got 4, it wasn’t enough)
- My wife is my hero (this isn’t new, just worth repeating)
- I. Must. Clean. Everything.
- Can you smell poop? 💩
- Time flies. Unless she’s screaming.
- I still think about that first smile
- Oh hello wife how have you been?
- I am now skilled enough to dress an octopus 🐙
a biggerthe biggest car.
- 5 minute shopping trip planned? better just write-off the afternoon
- Hey other parent, wanna talk about poop and compare sleep schedules?
- Do I have to go to work?
- I know it’s 9pm but I should maybe go to work, you got this right?
- That laugh 😭
- is it gross if I leave the house wearing this?
- Bath time is the best, post-bath time is armageddon
- That’s a cute outfit! (who am I?)
- Mary Poppins ain’t got shit on our nappy bag 👜
- Noise cancelling headphones, get in my basket
- Would you like a wet wipe? I have 17 thousand of them
- Everything I thought mattered.. matters less
- Shall we book a holida… nah that sounds too stressful
- passes hand sanitizer 🤲